characters

And now for some fun, (albeit random) Labyrinth things collected from around the web, including a Labyrinth purity test, Top Ten Lists, and Song Parodies. Note: As of right now, all of the parodies, tests, songs etc, with the exception of "As the World Falls Down" and "No Worries" are from the Labyrinth list archives.

You know you're obsessed with Jareth and the Labyrinth when . . .

1) Everyone's clothing seems terribly loose.

2) The phrase "blonde hair and blue eyes" no longer has you thinking

of the California steriotype

3) Peaches become your favorite food: peach ice cream, peach bubble

gum, peach yogurt, peach everything!

4) You call around for baby-sitting jobs just so you can try out

The Words on every kid possible.

5) You subscribe to any/all of the Labyrinth mailing lists

(anyone who is willing to deal with all that mail every day

has to be obsessed!)

6) Calling your little brother/sister/cousin a goblin is no longer

the insult it was before

7) If you were scared of David Bowie's weirdness before seeing the

movie, you now admire him and tentatively visit his honorary web

pages and buy his music. If you liked David Bowie before you saw

the movie, you now spend hours each afternoon poring over his

webpages while listening to his music. If you were obsessed with

David Bowie before seeing the movie . . . sorry, it's hopeless.

If you don't get help at Charter, please, get help somewhere.

8) You refuse to greet people with anything but a cheery "allo!"

and get offended if they don't respond, "Did you say 'hello'?"

9) You keep trying to add a 13th hour to every clock in your house.

10) You actually try this with digital clocks too.

11) You buy lichen and draw little eyeballs on it, then try to

teach it to speak.

12) You've heard the Laby soundtrack so many times that you can now

recreate it note for note in your dreams.

13) You recreate Sarah's room in your room, right down to the Hoggle

bookends.

14) You name your dog Merlin and your teddy bear Lancelot.

15) Every time you see a barn owl, you run after it yelling

"WAIT!! NO!! TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!"

Subj: Jareth came up to Earth (song parody)

Date: Sun, 08 Mar 1998

From: Rebekah Sue Innis <anakerie@mailcity.com>

Bear with me, I'm on a Charlie Daniels kick today (and since I'm

about to get layed off of work, probably a Jack Daniel's kick tonight.)

(to be sung to "The Devil Went Down to Georgia")

Well, Jareth came up to Earth,

He was lookin' for a child to steal

He was in a bind, he had a tight behind

And he was willing to make a deal

When he came upon this young girl

She was fussing and whining a lot

And Jareth flew in from the window pane

And said "Girl, let me tell you what.

I guess that you can see

Your little bro's said "toodolu"

And if you care to clear your head

I've brought a gift for you.

Now you plead pretty good, precious thing,

But give a king his due

I bet my twisting maze against your brain

Cause I think I'm better than you.

The girl said "My name's Sarah,

And where do I begin

I'll solve your maze

In half a day

I'm the best that's ever been

Sarah, gather up your wits,

For now the journey's hard

You're walking in the Underground

And Jareth deals the cards

And if you win and find the babe

You both get to go home

But if you lose

Your brother is a gnome!

Jareth looked into his ball

And said "I'll start this show"

And the creatures once young children

Threw chickens out the window

And he kicked a goblin cross the room

And it gave an evil hiss

Then a band of minions joined in

And it sounded something like this

(Dance Magic, Dance Magic, Dance Magic Dance)

When Jareth finished Sarah said

"Well, you're pretty with those buns

But sit down on those stairs right there

Let me show you how it's done.

Drawf at the fountain, fetch boy fetch

Fox in the land of Eternal Stench

Monster in the middle hanging from a rope

Do you know the way sir, no ma'am nope.

Jareth bowed his head because he knew he couldn't win

And with one last plea he sent them back

Never to fly again

Sarah said "Just come on back

If you ever want to try it again

I done told you once

Lord of Tight Buns

I'm the best that's ever been.

Drawf at the fountain, fetch boy fetch

Fox in the land of Eternal Stench

Monster in the middle hanging from a rope

Do you know the way sir, no ma'am nope.

Subj: top 10

Date: Fri, 20 Feb 1998

From: euphoria@cp-tel.net (Clara Gerl)

**created by euphoria's 'twisted' mind**

The top 10 reasons Labyrinth is better than men

10) It tells you straight out "The Way Forward is sometimes the way back."

9) For once you know a man is listening when you command him to take

something away.

8) The credits, when they play the extended version of "The Underground,"

last longer than ex lovers you try to forget.

7) She was able to shut one of the knockers up with a ring

6) Alpha and Ralph could make 69 real interesting.

5) It's no secret the goblins in the hedges give new meaning to

'trim the bushes.'

4) The creatures on sticks getting Ludo don't leave hickeys.

3) The fieries are quite 'limber.'

2) If you don't like you're current significant other you could just

throw him in an oubeliette.

And the number one reason:

1) FINALLY you get a look at firm balls that can be held tightly

and that you can see clear through.

LABYRINTH PURITY TEST

What follows is a purely just-for-fun test to see how Labyrinth Pure

you are. There are 100 questions. Each question is worth 1 point or 1%

out of a total of 100 points (100%). You get 1 point for each question

you answer 'yes' to. At the end of the test count up your "yes"

answers. The total number of points you end up with is the percentage

of how much Labyrinth pure you are.

Note: This is just a test for entertainment, so have fun while taking

it! If you do not hold the end result to be true, then don't worry

about it. It's just going by the material which is on this test. It

doesn't necessarily mean that you are "only" that much Labyrinth Pure. :)

Have you ever...

1. Y N ...watched Labyrinth?

2. Y N ...memorized the whole movie by heart?

3. Y N ...read the novel by A.C.H. Smith?

4. Y N ...memorized the whole novel by heart?

5. Y N ...read "Labyrinth II: The Lands Beyond" by Judith Agrathea?

6. Y N ...joined any of the Labyrinth Mailing Lists?

7. Y N ...asked your parents whether they would mind having

another child just so you can wish it away?

8. Y N ...actually tried to wish your little brother/sister away?

9. Y N ...had it work?

10. Y N ...tried to wish yourself away?

11. Y N ...played the Labyrinth computer game?

12. Y N ...used Labyrinth quotes in everyday conversation?

13. Y N ...answered your teacher or college instructor with quotes

from Labyrinth?

14. Y N ...found yourself saying repeatedly, "It's not fair!"?

15. Y N ...quoted less common lines from the movie without really

even thinking about it? (besides 'it's not fair' or another

really common quote)

16. Y N ...started saying "right now" at the end of every sentence?

17. Y N ...your family/friends have taken out a court injunction

stopping you from mentioning anything Labyrinth related

within a 5 mile radius of them.

18. Y N ...given lectures on the myriad possible interpretations

of Labyrinth?

19. Y N ...recited the opening scene to Labyrinth in a park?

20. Y N ...written a story or poem on Labyrinth?

21. Y N ...converted people into complete Labyrinth nuts?

22. Y N ...at your job, near closing time had all your co-workers

act out scenes from Labyrinth?

23. Y N ...had anyone act out scenes from Labyrinth?

24. Y N ...danced to Labyrinth music?

25. Y N ...sang to Labyrinth music?

26. Y N ...planned or actually gone through with naming your kids

after Labyrinth characters (other than Sarah or Toby)?

27. Y N ...named a pet after a Labyrinth character?

28. Y N ...named you computer after a Labyrinth character?

29. Y N ...named anything else after a Labyrinth character?

30. Y N ...decided to design your next house like a Labyrinth?

31. Y N ...wallpapered your room with Escher art?

32. Y N ...wished you could have a party with all the Labyrinth

creatures?

33. Y N ...actually had a party with all the Labyrinth creatures?

34. Y N ...dressed up like one of the Labyrinth characters?

35. Y N ...tried to convince your boyfriend/girlfriend that they

would look really good in a pair of tights/a poets blouse?

36. Y N ...started to think that your friends and/or relatives

look like Labyrinth characters?

37. Y N ...traveled thousands of miles just to walk through a life

size maze?

38. Y N ...actually hoped to see Jareth there?

39. Y N ...actually did see Jareth?

40. Y N ...had dreams where you were in the Labyrinth?

41. Y N ...really believed that the Labyrinth and it's inhabitants

are or could possibly be real?

42. Y N ...looked around for white owls in your local park?

43. Y N ...dressed up in a long white dress while doing so?

44. Y N ...seen a white owl and wondered "Is that the Goblin

King?"

45. Y N ...talked to all the owls at the local zoo, hoping one of

them is Jareth?

46. Y N ...said the words during a storm in the hopes that Jareth

would answer?

47. Y N ...actually had Jareth visit you in the night?

48. Y N ...thought of it as a normal occurrence?

49. Y N ...seen David Bowie and called him Jareth?

50. Y N ...saw your picture of Jareth wink at you while you were

surfing through Labyrinth pages and listening to your

Labyrinth soundtrack?

51. Y N ...tried to twirl crystals like Jareth?

52. Y N ...succeeded?

53. Y N ...had dreams about Jareth?

54. Y N ...been given weird looks by your friends because you

thought Jareth was cute, hot, sexy, etc?

55. Y N ...made any sort of mention towards Jareth's 'balls'?

56. Y N ...had a 'little slice' of Jareth's cake?

57. Y N ...dressed like Jareth?

58. Y N ...ever considered whether Jareth wears a hair net at

night to keep his hair from flattening out?

59. Y N ...eaten a peach and wondered if something strange would

happen?

60. Y N ...injected peaches with hallucinogenic drugs so you

could have a ballroom fantasy of your own?

61. Y N ...been to a real-life Labyrinth Ball complete with Goblin

King?

62. Y N ...bought or designed a formal gown just like Sarah's?

63. Y N ...searched your local stores for anything Sarah-like to

wear?

64. Y N ...bought any and every mask you could find, especially if

it resembles those of the Labyrinth Ball?

65. Y N ...sat before a mirror saying, "I need you...all of you,"

in the hopes that Didymus, Hoggle and Ludo will appear?

66. Y N ...noticed the brooch on the left side of Sarah's shirt?

67. Y N ...started collecting crystals in the hopes that they will

'show you your dreams'?

68. Y N ...looked in a crystal and actually saw your dreams?

69. Y N ...blew bubbles cause they reminded you of Jareth's

crystals?

70. Y N ...had tea with a worm?

71. Y N ...found yourself talking to worms?

72. Y N ...greeted your friends everyday with "'Allo"?

73. Y N ...seen a cute guy/girl walk past and said, "Woo woo woo!"?

74. Y N ...put a picture of Jareth in your wallet or a locket?

(For guys, a pic of Sarah).

75. Y N ...found yourself urinating in a pond?

76. Y N ...found yourself talking to door knockers?

77. Y N ...found yourself strangely obsessed with playing Scrabble?

78. Y N ...said "Smell baaad!" in a Ludo-type voice when you

smelled some foul stench?

79. Y N ...said "Stench? Of what speakest thou?" etc. when someone

says the above?

80. Y N ...found yourself talking like Sir Didymus? ("I shall save

thee, fair maiden!" or "Thou art a noble knight, good sir!").

81. Y N ...looked for Firey's in the woods?

82. Y N ...been afraid that they might jump out and try to take

your head off?

83. Y N ...been afraid they might sing to you?

84. Y N ...tried detaching one of your limbs like the Fireys,

resulting in a trip to the emergency ward/hospital?

85. Y N ...been bitten by a faerie?

86. Y N ...seen a fraggin' aardvark?

87. Y N ...tried to call the rocks?

88. Y N ...felt like you were being watched by lichen?

89. Y N ...thought of yourself more as a goblin than a human?

90. Y N ...thought of yourself more as any other creature from

Labyrinth instead of a human?

91. Y N ...tried to make talking faces with your hands? (i.e.

helping hands)

92. Y N ...been lended a 'helping hand'?

93. Y N ...been stuck in an oubliette?

94. Y N ...been chased by the Cleaners?

95. Y N ...considered buying a "Cleaners" machine to do your housework?

96. Y N ...noticed the peculiar design on Hoggles vest?

97. Y N ...noticed that Hoggle is the bell-ringer on the clock in

the throne room?

98. Y N ...ever thought one of those nipper-sticks would come in

useful when changing the lightbulb?

99. Y N ...wondered whether the Bog of Eternal Stench actually

smells like your brother?

100. Y N ...ever tried walking through a wall just to test the

theory that 'nothing is as it seems' resulting in a trip

to the hospital and major facial re-construction surgery?

Thanks goes to the following people for helping me put this together!

Ariana Dreamstar, Xarael, Jenn Farago, Debi Valentine, Sarah McCulley,

and Hobble!

Thanks guys! Err...gals!

This is supposed to be a personality test, (no way like the beloved Seph's

Labyrinth obcession quiz)

I made it so that you can tell if your personality most resembles that of

Jareth, Sarah, Hoggle, Sir Didymus, Ludo, or Ambrocious. Here goes:

1) If confronted by a thief would you:

a) Stare him down.

b) be scared but stand your ground

c) mumble incoherently and twitch in fear

d) Yell "How dare you!I shall not let you steal my belongings!"

e) try to make friends.

f) RUN, RUN, RUN

2) If you were in a fire what one belonging of yours would you rescue:

a) styling gel

b) favorite old toy

c) your jewelry

d) your sword

e) your blankie

f) You wouldn't try to rescue anything! You'd hightail it!

3) Your ideal date would be:

a) foolhardy and innocent

b) cruel and sexy

c) rich and short

d) a human teddybear

e) wimpy and hairy

4) Your favorite articles of clothing:

a) tights and anything with glitter or sequins

b) Poet's blouse and jeans

c) regular old vests and leather caps

d) Knightly garb and a hat with a feather in it

f) Big comfy teddybear wear

e) nothing

5) Your fav spot to take a date:

a) a glamorous ball

b) a chilly down fun party

c) the fountain

d) anywhere there's action

e) home-so you can just cuddle

f) the hydrant

6) If love to you means...

a) making dreams come true

b) having dreams about

c) stupid emotion.Cor.

d) to fight any battle for and sacrifice anything for

e) innocent affection

f) to just plain out like (but you still wouldn't risk anything for them)

If you had more a's then your personality is most like that of Jareth's

B's means your another Sarah.

C's means your a crazy ole Hoggle person.

D's mean your the brave Sir Didymus type.

E's means your a big teddybear, Ludo person.

F's mean your a cowardly Ambrocious/Merlin person, be proud of you

cowardness.

The Firey Song:

When the sun goes down (when the sun goes down)

And the bads are back again (and the bads are back)

The brothers come 'round (the brothers come 'round)

I get out of my dirty bed (my dirty bed)

I shake my pretty little head (I shake my pretty little head)

I tap my pretty little feet (I tap my pretty little feet)

We're brighter than sunlight (oh)

Louder than thunder (oh)

Dancing like a yo-yo, wooh (oh)

Chilly down with the fun gang

think small with the fun gang

when ya think its wild chilly down

chilly down with the fun gang

Ain't got no problems (no problems)

Ain't got no suitcase (no suitcase)

Ain't got no clothes to worry about. no clothes to worry about?

Ain't got no real estate or jewelry or gold mines binding me, yeah

Real estate?

I just throw in my ha ha-nd (throw in my hand)

We're the chilliest bunch in the land (in the land)

They don't look much (oh)

They're so chilly chilly (oh)

They party till they glow glow, huh (oh)

Chilly down with the fun gang

Think small with the fun gang (It's the only way)

Bang hips with the fun gang (a smile a day keeps the doctor away)

When you think it's wild

Chilly down

Chilly down with the fun gang (Hey, I don't want a job)

Think tall with the fun gang (ooh, good times)

Good times, bad food (yeah)

When you think it's wild

Chilly down, chilly down

I'm crazy, really lazy, a rollin', funky strolling, ball playing Hips swaying, trouble making, boogie shaking, dripping, passing, jumping Bouncing, brawling, startling, creeping, pouncing, shouting, screaming Double-dealing, rock-n-rolling, and oh reeling With the magic sex appealin can you dig that groovy feeling?

So when things get too tough (get too tough)

When your chin is dragging on the ground (dragging on the ground)

Everything down looks up (down looks up)

Bad luck

HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA!

We can show you a good time (we can show you a good time)

And we don't charge nothing

Just strut your nasty stuff

Wiggle in the middle, yeah

Get everybody talking, fun gang

Chilly down with the fun gang (think small)

Think small with the fun gang

Bang hips with the fun gang (hey, listen up)

When you think it's wild

Chilly down

Chilly down with the fun gang (hey, shake your pretty little head)

Think tall with the fun gang (touch your pretty little feet)

Good times, bad food (come on, come on)

When you think it's wild

Chilly down

Chilly down with the fun gang (wooh)

Think small with the fun gang

Hey, hey, with the fun gang

Firey 1: "Hey your ears don't come off!"

Firey 2: "Where you goin with ears like that!?"

Firey 3: "I know what we can do! Take off their ears!"

Firey 1: "You don't need 2 ears!"

Firey 2: "Take off their head!"

Firey 4: "Their head don't come off either!"

"Of course it doesn't!" You say as you franticly try to push them off. You see a wall with a rope hanging down from it not far away.

Firey 1: "Hey where you goin? Da games not over!

Firey 2:"Lets take off their arm!"

Firey 4: "Where's de referee!"

AS THE WORLD FALLS DOWN;

There's such a sad love

Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel

Open and closed within your eyes

I'll place the sky within your eyes

There's such a fooled heart

Beating so fast in search of new dreams

A love that will last within your heart

I'll place the moon within your heart

CHORUS

As the pain sweeps through

Makes no sense for you

Every thrill has gone

Wasn't too much fun at all

But I'll be there for you-oo-oo

As the world falls down

Falling

(As the world) Falling down

Falling in love

I'll paint you mornings of gold

I'll spin you Valentine evenings

Though we're strangers till now

We're choosing the path between the stars

I'll leave my love between the stars

CHORUS

Falling

(As the world) Falling down

Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love

As the world falls down

(down) Falling

Falling

Falling in love

As the world falls down

Falling

Makes no sense at all

Makes no sense to fall

Falling

As the world falls down

Falling

Falling in love

As the world falls down

(down) Falling

Falling

Falling in love

Falling in love (love)

Falling in love

Site created by Megan Humburg. 1999.

Any questions or comments please feel free to email me.

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